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This site is the website of motivational speaker Craig Harper. A constantly updated, one-stop information, inspiration, education and motivation station. Unlike many similar sites, it is a totally free resource for anyone who is serious about moving from mediocre to amazing in any area of their personal or professional life. With hundreds of articles covering a wide range of subject matter, great interviews with cool people and inspirational video posts, there's more than enough brain-food to keep you busy for hours. Okay, days!!
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Craig's Best Selling Books,  DVD's, CD's

   
personal development dvdDVD - Renovate Your Body
In this entertaining presentation, Craig discusses the notion of Renovating Your Body - once and for all. (Also available on CD).
 

Craig Harper - Fattitude.Fattitude.
While many books focus on food, Craig Harper teaches that creating life-long change is more about the dieter, than the actual diet. This book is perfect for people who have a history of 'almost' getting in shape.

   
Craig Harper - Food for thought.Food for thought.
In this book, Craig Harper walks the reader through his 21 rules to Permanent Weight Loss.
   
Craig Harper - So you've decided you want to get in shape (again).So you've decided you want to get in shape (again).
Imagine a pocket-sized fitness book that takes just twenty minutes to read. Craig Harper addresses the REAL getting-in-shape issues.
   
Craig Harper - Food, Exercise, and Lifestyle DiaryCraig Harper - Food, Exercise, and Lifestyle Diary. If you're serious about your training, nutrition, and lifestyle - Craig Harper's training diary is an invaluable tool.


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Welcome to Craig's site.

Craig Harper is a leading motivational speaker and educator. He is a highly sought-after corporate coach and is considered to be a leader and pioneer in the areas of personal and professional development. Working with hundreds of teams, companies and a wide variety of organisations on numerous continents over the last twenty years has given Craig a unique insight into, and understanding of, human performance and all its variables. Craig has an ability to educate, inspire, challenge and make people laugh all at the same time!
 

Renovate Your Life Blog


Monday, April 21, 2008
The Pity Party; Slow-Dancing with Misery
Aaaah, the good old Pity Party; we've all thrown at least one in our time. Some people throw them every day of their lives. They are absolute party animals. Of course, quite often they will be the only attendee at these 'celebrations', and then at other times they will do their very best to get everyone they know involved. After all, we wouldn't want anyone to miss out would we? Everybody loves a party.

grumpy guyNo balloons but maybe some cake.

Okay, so there ain't too many balloons or laughs at yer typical Pity Party (although cake is often involved) and the objective seems to be more about commiseration than celebration, but a party is a party right?

Wrong.

Let me tell you that self-pity is no party my friend; it's a frickin' destructive nightmare which has taken hold of way too many lives and destroyed way too much potential and hope. It's a moth chewing it's way through the fabric of our society and it ruins careers, families, friendships, businesses and ultimately, lives. It is an emotional cancer that will slowly and methodically infect every cell of your being if you let it. That's right; if you let it! It's the only optional cancer on the list. And while it's not a condition which can be detected under the microscope, the individual riddled with self pity is dying a slow and pointless death nonetheless.

Enough about me... What do you think about me?

Self pity feeds on attention but it never has enough. It is a bottomless pit; the over-eater of the emotional world. The more it gets, the more it wants. It will demand more and more of you until you become it's slave. And it is an insatiable master. It is always looking for a sympathetic audience and it loves talking about itself. It has no awareness of, care for, or understanding of, the needs of others because it is completely self-absorbed and delusional. It has an incredible ability to bring every conversation back to itself. It inhabits the negative zone, is a first cousin to pessimism and can often be seen hanging out with it's good buddies, frustration, anger and resentment.

It is seductive.

It will make you feel good for a while but then you'll feel worse than ever. And like any addiction worth it's salt, you'll need a little more each time to get the same rush. The highs will be shorter, the lows will be longer and the cost will become greater. You'll become increasingly desperate and you'll also become more and more creative in your attempts to acquire the same level of attention. You'll constantly need to find new audiences because your family and friends won't buy into your self-absorbed crap for ever. You'll find new and creative ways to be mad at people, you'll become resentful of pretty much everyone who doesn't deliver the required pity, and you'll tell so many lies that you'll eventually start to believe your own bullshit.

megaphoneWhile it wants plenty of things, with attention clearly at the top of the list, the one thing self-pity doesn't want is solutions to all those attention-generating problems. Why would it? Solutions ruin everything! That would be like cutting off it's life force; it's oxygen. While you and I both know that doing our best to create positive outcomes and solutions is where it's at, to the individual totally immersed in their self-pity mindset, answers and logic are like kryptonite.

I'm not going to your stupid party

This is why some people don't connect with the Craig Harper message; I don't wanna go to their stupid party - I wanna help them create a better reality. I'm not interested in perpetuating, or indulging in, their self-inflicted misery or pouring kerosene on an already raging fire of self pity. While they're inside the party slow-dancing with misery, I'm out the front leaning on the horn but they don't wanna get in the car.

The irony is that over the long term, self-pity typically generates the exact opposite of what the individual wants; resentment instead of sympathy and avoidance instead of attention.

In other words, it doesn't work. It's a fraud.

But sadly we keep buying into it.

Moving forward

Sometimes a life filled with joy and happiness, or a life filled with overwhelming problems is simply a matter of perspective. Some of us have a gift for making the good, bad, and the easy, hard. Most of the time, the difference between a problem and a lesson is attitude, and depending on how willing we are to take a chance, our best life can be a million miles away, or one inch away. Our best life is right under our nose but we need to choose it, take it and make it. Success doesn't happen to us; we create it - just like misery. Happiness is not a matter of luck, fate, destiny or the alignment of the planets; it's about what we choose to do with what we've been given. It's about the attitude we take into every situation and experience - every day. I know I say these words often, but it is what it is. That's the fact Jack.

joyfulThe only person who can 'fix' your life, is you and the only person who can destroy your life is you. Choose to invest into the lives of others, rather than obsessing about your own situation, and in doing so, you will begin to heal yourself.

So my suggestion to you is, leave that party and never go back.

By the way, I'm still out here leaning on the horn.


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Motivational Speaker - Craig Harper
Craig Harper is one of Australia's most respected motivational speakers and educators. Some of Craig's recent clients include:

  • Alinta

  • Telstra

  • ANZ Bank

  • Commonwealth Bank of Australia

  • National Australia Bank

  • Corporate Express

  • Pricewaterhouse Coopers

  • Department of Infrastructure

  • Department Planning and Community Development

  • Simplot Australia

  • Porter Davis Homes

  • Rothschild Merchant Bank

  • Royal Children's Hospital

  • Fernwood Fitness Centres

  • Flour Daniel

  • Brivis

  • Sensis

  • Western Water

  • South East Water

For more information on booking Craig click here.

Some nice words about Craig:

"We had our annual conference over the weekend of the 23rd and 24th Feb, 2008 and we had Craig Harper as one of our presenters. He was wonderful, funny and professional, and he got our message through to the staff in a positive and fun way. He was loved by all!"

Ally Memic, IMCD, Australia

 
Craig's Most Popular Articles
A Shove with Love - A Kickstart to Change
Accountability Partners are Us!
The Fifty Success Habits
Toughness
Eight Steps to Getting out of that Rut
The Sixty One Year-Old Skater Dude
Low Fat Meals that Aren't.
A Dog's Life
Craig Meets Lance Armstrong
Smells Like Team Spirit
The Value of Criticism

Single? What's WRONG with Him?

Celebrate the Weirdo

Weight-Loss Bullshit

The Muffin-Top Pioneer

The Thief of Time
Living in Fat City
Sure, girls are cool.. but I so don't wanna be one
More articles like these...
 
   
 
Recent Life Lessons by Craig
Knowing what to ask
Rules
The King of Bling
The Night Walker
The Shrinking Family
Emotional Quicksand
How to Smoke Fifty Cigarettes a Day and be Healthy
The Change Myth
The Impossible Conversation
Revelation from a Gossip Mag
More life lessons like these...
 

 

Positive Blog Network

 

   

   
   

Motivational Speaker - Archived Articles click here for more lessons and laughs

 
         

Craig's Best Selling Books,  DVD's, CD's

   
personal development dvd

 

 



DVD - Renovate Your Body - Craig Harper

In this entertaining presentation, Craig discusses the notion of Renovating Your Body - once and for all. (Also available on CD).

Craig Harper - Fattitude.

 

 


Fattitude - Craig Harper
While many books focus on food, Craig Harper teaches that creating life long change is more about the dieter than the actual diet.

Craig Harper - Food for thought.

 

 

Food for thought - Craig Harper
In this book, Craig Harper walks the reader through his 21 rules to Permanent Weight Loss.

Craig Harper - So you've decided you want to get in shape (again).

 

 

So you've decided you want to get in shape (again) - Craig Harper
Imagine a pocket-sized fitness book that takes just twenty minutes to read. Craig Harper addresses the REAL getting-in-shape issues.

 

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