Have you ever bought something only to discover down the track that you didn’t actually get what you thought you were buying… that you’ve been well and truly scammed?
Of course you have.
Me too.
We all have.
“But with these pills I’m meant to lose 14 pounds in 14 days… without getting off the couch!!”
“Hey, isn’t this phone supposed to do neck massage, make a cappuccino… and land the Space Shuttle?”
The advertising and the hype just didn’t match the product.
Companies constantly over-promise and under-deliver… it’s an age-old trick called ’selling stuff’!
“Oh… you want a steering wheel with that car Mr Harper… well, that’s an option”
Don’t let the facts get in the way of a good story!
Well, this happens in the world of Personal Development too.
Shock, horror.
I know it’s hard to believe that someone might actually care more about telling you what you want to hear, or making money than helping you… but try and get your head around it.
Crazy concept I know.
Am I doing the sarcasm thing again?
Sorry.
Sure, there are some amazing, genuine people out there who are doing their best to ‘be the change’… and then there are those who are peddling lies or at the very least, half truths.
Too many ‘wanna-be experts’ espouse messages that are misleading, unrealistic, impractical and potentially dangerous. Good for selling books, not so good for creating real-life results… forever change.
In a culture which is desperate for a shortcut (we are the quick-fix generation) it’s easy to sell lies because so many of us don’t wanna buy the truth… it’s not nearly as attractive. We spend millions every day on weight-loss products because we get sucked in by terms like ‘quick, easy, fast and painless’… and we continue to get fatter… because all that crap doesn’t work!!
“Yep, I’m gonna get me some o’ those seven minute abs!!”
Good luck with that.
It’s true, we are an incredibly gullible society, desperate to find an easy way rather than discovering the most effective way.
We don’t need more ’success’ theories or shortcuts, we need practical, proven, common sense, results-based strategies.
More reality, less fluff.
More honesty, less razzle-dazzle.
For how much longer will we continue to complicate the simple?
Re-invent the Self Help wheel?
Go around in ever-expanding Personal Development circles?
How many different ways can we say the same thing?
If we were to believe some people, it’s a wonder that any of us achieved anything before they arrived on the Personal Development landscape with their new ’success’ systems and programs.
Lucky us.
Call me crazy, call me old-fashioned… but I (stupidly) still embrace some of those wacky archaic notions like self-control, discipline, planning, determination, focus, passion, commitment and hard work.
I know, I’m out of date.
So out of touch.
Hard work… there’s a term you won’t see in any advertising literature… can’t sell that!
The reality is that creating our best life and fulfilling our potential will always involve a level of pain, discomfort, blood, sweat, tears and commitment. But try and find those facts on the front of a Self-Help book or in the advertising for any Personal Development program.
I won’t get too specific about books, programs or individuals (I have an aversion to litigation) but let’s just say that you would be well advised to question, explore and consider for yourselves before you buy into someone else’s (version of) reality, success or change.
I always tell my audiences “don’t believe me… simply listen, consider what I say and then judge for yourself. See if something that I say resonates within you.” You need to find your own truth among the ever-increasing mountain of Personal Development information.
Is it possible to create amazing, mind-blowing outcomes in our life?
Absolutely.
Is it quick, easy, simple and painless?
Typically not.
Is it worth making the effort?
Absolutely.
I’m at the front of the queue when it comes to encouraging people to create their own amazing life… relationships, health, career, finances, happiness, fun. And while I believe that most of us are exploding with talent and potential and can do and achieve amazing things, I am also passionate about teaching people the realistic, no-frills, this-is-what-really-works approach to creating their best life.
I care about what happens when the ‘Guru’ leaves town, the hype and the ‘motivation’ have died down, you’re not ‘in state’, you’re not ‘in the zone’, your back is a bit sore, the kids are screaming, the bills are mounting and the emotional impact of the workshop, the book, the seminar, the DVD or the CD has long gone. Creating forever change ain’t about moments of motivation and inspiration… and it ain’t about books, programs or even this website; it’s about what you do over the course of a lifetime!!!
A few of my favourite(?) lies:
The lie: You deserve it.
The truth: You earn it, you create it, you work for it.
The lie: If you can conceive it, you can achieve it.
The truth: Not always. I can picture myself running a hundred metres in nine seconds all I want… but it ain’t gonna happen. I can picture myself being a rock star in front of 50,000 screaming fans… but sadly, no chance – it also takes some talent. It’s great to visualise and create a mental picture, it’s also wise to be practical and realistic.
The lie: Motivation will get you there.
The truth: It won’t, motivation comes and goes. It’s about commitment – that’s what keeps us going when the motivation is absent. It’s about being totally emotionally invested into that endeavour so that even when you don’t ‘feel like it’, you’re still doing what you need to do to create your desired outcomes. When most people have thrown in the towel, you persevere.
The lie: If it’s meant to be, the Universe will deliver it to you.
The truth: That’s crap. The Universe doesn’t give a shit about you.
As I’ve said before, the traditional concept of destiny is the refuge of the weak. It’s for lazy, fearful people who don’t wanna get off their ass and take charge of their own life. Some people would have you believe that your future is some pre-determined event that you happen to be an unwilling participant in. Enjoy that reality… the rest of us will be over here creating our own amazing future.
The lie: This book, program, CD, DVD, website… will change your life.
The truth: You will change your life.
{ 21 comments… read them below or add one }
Those things that you talk about self-control, planning, discipline etc…those are the things our grandparents had. I remember my grandpa telling me that when he and gran moved in to their house they had a card table as a dining table, and sheets up to the windows, instead of curtains.
“Why?” I asked.
“We couldn’t afford things to go inside the house and over the next ten years we saved our money and bought what we needed as we could afford it.”
He wouldn’t borrow or go in to debt to do what he wanted. My great grandfather could have afforded to give him the money for what they needed, but he didn’t. He too knew the value of the lessons of hard work and patience. I am guessing that when they got those items they appreciated them far and beyond the way that we do now because they didn’t come easy.
A return to some of those values would do us all some good. May even help the epidemic of unhappiness that seems to have hit our world.
I remember when I used to work as a personal trainer at high profile gym, one of the things that we would ask potential personal training clients was whether or not they would spend $4,000 for a magic pill that would give them all of their health and fitness desires.
The answer was invariably “Yes,” but those same people wouldn’t spend $500 for a personal training package that would teach them to do the work themselves for a fraction of the price.
Excellent post. There’s a whole generation of kids, at least in the US, who have what I call “entitlement disease.” They believe that success should be handed to them. If it isn’t, they either become bitter, or look for ways to cheat others or the system at large in order to get away with something.
A few years ago, our company hired a new employee who was right out of college. This person seemed to feel that learning the basics and doing some hard work was beneath them. Part of my job was to deliver the bad news that we were not in Kansas anymore, and that we all need to take out the trash at some point.
This type of mentality runs rampant, and leads either to disillusionment, or a serious performance deficit that ultimately leads to failure.
Hi Craig. I love this post. Every week i get annoyed with my gym partner for making every excuse under the sun not to turn up to the gym and it take a lot of nagging from me to get her there so i print off your blogs, especially ones like this post and hand them to her and ask her to talk to me about it the next day.
1) it gets her to the gym the next day and, 2) it makes her think about her Excuse-itis and I throw in a guilt trip that a pregnant woman will turn up 6 days a week and she won’t.
Thanks for this post… it is a reminder of the commitment we need to make to ourselves and if we can help someone else along the way, then why not.
Thanks for the time you take to be our conscience…
YES YES YES is what I was thinking all the way through. Until I did the GYST challenge and read Fatittude I was too looking for those quick pills now have replaced them with hard work and committment, motivation long gone.
Just want to also say that there is a really well known book out there along with a dvd that has some nice feel good ideas about the universe providing but alas we do have to be “practical, realistic” and add the behavioural component of hardwork, yes the motivation. Did you know one of the guys who wrote about the universe providing you with money was on current affairs for frauding people, taking there money and promising them returns which never came. I must say he had a lovely house!!
Have a great day
Hi Michelle… we can learn a lot from our grandparents.
Amazingly they survived and thrived without the workshops, the internet and the self-help books.
Cheers.
Hi I.S.
“There’s a whole generation of kids, at least in the US, who have what I call entitlement disease.”
Love how you put that.
We have them here too.
Thanks for dropping by.
Hi Asma.
You’re welcome.. enjoy your day.
Peace.
Is that Attitudey (a word) Charmaine?
Nice.
Go girl.
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What! I can’t get 7 minute abs. waaaah!
If stuff comes easily then it can’t be appreciated and then we can’t feel proud about it.
Responses to select quotes in this post:
“Oh… you want a steering wheel with that car Mr Harper… well, that’s an option”
What are the other options? Actually, I’m open to the idea of driving a car with a joystick. Think about it.
” I can picture myself being a rock star in front of 50,000 screaming fans… but sadly, no chance – it also takes some talent.”
… but you can always buy Guitar Hero…
“The lie: If it’s meant to be, the Universe will deliver it to you.
The truth: That’s crap. The Universe doesn’t give a shit about you.”
Haha, that made me laugh. Truth is funny.
Personal Development —mmm sure there is alot around – thanks for the reminder to not just believe what is said but to use our intuition. You too are amazing Mr Craig Harper. jsp
No Debstar.
Seven minute abs is a silly concept.
It takes at least eight.
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Glad I made you laugh Kel.
Cheers.
Thanks JSP.
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Hi Craig!
Great as always…
sending this one to the team…
Thanks!
()
Tami
Thanks Tam.
Hope they get some value from it.
( )
I’ll admit, I have been part of the duped masses. I didn’t want to get off my butt and exercise if there was a magic pill to sort out all my problems.
Don’t worry about smacking me around the head, I’ve already done it.
Once I cut out that crap and actually committed to making a change – surprise surprise I got better results than I ever got with my pain free universe providing tactics.
Yeah, I slip up and let old habits creep back in. But I kick them back out the door as soon as I realise that the sabotage is happening.
The universe might not give a shit, but I sure as hell do.
Have a great day Craig. =)
I need to defend the universe a little bit as I know it can’t type so I am going to help him/her out. The way I see it is if you work hard and yes put in the effort this is when the universe steps in and lets you know if you are on the right track by those little odd things that happen that tie it all together for you or you meet the appropriate people to help you along further in your endeavours. There are those other times though where you feel like your hitting your head against a brick wall and just getting no where, that may be a sign from the universe that you are on the wrong track.
Have a pink cloud fuzzy day
The Universe
Craig,
I was just wondering why you personally went down the road of personal development, coach, motivational speaker, educator. Was it a light bulb moment, or an evolving process..?
Andy
And the devil who deceived them was thrown into the lake of fire and brimstone, where the beast and the false prophet are also; and they will be tormented day and night forever and ever.
Withhold not Your tender mercy from me, O Lord; let Your loving-kindness and Your truth continually preserve me!
A.