If you’ve come in search of hilarity, mirth and entertainment today, you best look elsewhere. Because today I’m sharing some old-school, self-help, get-yer-shit-together… love.
Got a buddy (surprising I know) who is always just about to turn his life (career, body, relationships, finances, living situation) around.
Spoken about him once before.
Always at the threshold of something amazing.
Always about to re-invent himself.
Never actually doing anything… but always about to.
Always got a plan… never actually doing anything with it… but always got one.
He’s the plan man.
Talks a great game but never gets off the bench.
By choice.
Got all the answers.
In theory.
If life was a theory… he’d be a champion.
Wants great.. but chooses crap.
Keeping in mind that.. doing nothing… is a choice.
Saw him yesterday.
We had that conversation.
The same one we have every year.
The.. “I’ve realised a few things about myself lately, I know I’ve wasted a lot of time and I know you don’ believe me Craig.. but it’s gonna be different this time”… conversation.
It was like groundhog day.
And I was Bill Murray.
With biceps.
All that talent and all those brains… if only he’d put ‘em to use.
It’s like owning a Ferrari but never taking it out of the garage.
So much potential, so many possibilities and yet he leaves the super-car in the garage and ‘drives’ a thirty year-old Toyota.
If only he’d stop reading, hoping, planning, researching (sitting on the couch), thinking (procrastinating), talking (making more excuses) and actually do something (for more than a week), he could do, create and be… amazing.
Because he’s a smart, talented guy who’s wasting his potential.
And time.
If only he’d stop waiting for the planets to align and an angel to visit him in his sleep with instructions from the Almighty….
If only.
Some of us are going to wake up tomorrow (seemingly) and it will be 2012.
Five years will have passed and August 2007 will seem like yesterday… and not because we have an amazing memory.. but because nothing will have changed in our life.
We will have done nothing new or different.
Despite the fact that we desperately want… new and different.
Some of us will still be doing the same things, the same way, in the same situations and circumstances and still having the same issues and the same conversations with the same people and struggling with the same problems… five years from now.
But for some of us, it won’t be the same.
It will be worse.
And not because we can’t change.. but because we don’t.
And we will be frustrated.
Possibly angry.
Yet again.
And some of us will still be doing the things that (today) we swear we’re about to change (give up, stop, fix, address)… will still be held captive to those destructive habits.. and still be finding reasons to rationalise the life-we-don’t-want.. but continue to inhabit.
And again we will justify and explain our failure to do what needs to be done.
And again we will hope the ‘change fairy’ turns up while we sleep… and fixes our life.
Or maybe we’ll beat ourselves up yet again and continue to feel sorry for ourselves… because nobody has it as tough as us.
And nobody understands our situation.
Fortunately, it ain’t all doom and gloom.
Thank goodness.
The good news is we don’t need to (stagnate).
Really.
The good news is that we can create amazing results (in way less than five years) if we do a few simple (but not necessarily easy) things.
And no, this is not some psycho-babble, feel-good, positive-thinking crap; I have too little spare time to sit at my computer and write rubbish.
This is truth.
This is an absolute possibility… if you believe it and make it real for you.
This is not me trying to make you feel good or get you in positive frame of mind for ten minutes. No, this is me talking to you about the practicalities and realities of changing your life.
I’m not trying to motivate you… I’m trying to beat you into action.
Because action creates change.
And motivation (the feeling) lasts five minutes.
I have worked with MANY people who have created amazing results (in a relatively short period of time) with limited talent, skills or resources because they simply got to that point.
And when people get there… stuff happens.
Big stuff.
Different-forever… stuff.
If only we can get out of our own way, we can achieve greatness.
Sometimes my biggest hurdle… is me?
And I know all about this stuff!
Waddabout you?
If today we are prepared to get real (serious), change our mindset, change our behaviours and take total responsibility for who we are, where we are and why we are.. then tomorrow (yes tomorrow) our life will be different because we will be different.
And when we change, our life changes.
If you want your life (or parts of it) to be incredibly different in five years (or way less), there are a few no-brainers yer gotta get yer head around and do something about:
(1) As a rule, there is no perfect time. Waiting for the perfect time is another name for procrastination.
(2) The decisions we make (or don’t) and the things we do (or don’t) today will shape what our reality looks like 1, 2, 5 years from now. Not making a decision… is making a decision.
(3) If nothing changes (attitude, behaviours), nothing changes (reality, results).
“Insanity is doing the same thing over and over.. and expecting a different outcome”… yet this is what many of us do every day of our lives.
I know you know this… call it a reminder.
(4) If you don’t address (do something about) what has held you back in the past (laziness, apathy, ignorance, fear, lack of preparation, attitude, inconsistency) you will continue to spin your wheels and stay where you are.
(5) Your biggest challenge will always be you (specifically your thoughts and your emotions), not your boss, not your genetics, not your bank balance, not your situation or circumstance, not your parents and their lack of support or understanding and not your ability or lack thereof.
(6) You can’t be objective about you. Consider involving someone (in your change process) who will tell you what you need to hear, encourage you, support you and slap you in the back of the head periodically.
(7) Create time lines and work ferociously towards them. You need to create and maintain momentum… time lines help.
(8) Live with purpose.
Get excited about stuff.
Get passionate.
Get off your ass.
If you wanna create amazing… yer gotta do amazing.
Stop walking around like a lame-ass and wondering why your life is crap.
(Surely a ‘real’ mentor wouldn’t speak like that??!)
(9) Make some significant decisions today.
Now.
Even though they may not be easy, convenient, practical, comfortable or popular.
Make them because your life needs to change.
(10) Many people let their past determine their future… when in fact what we’ve achieved, done or experienced to this point in time has little or nothing to do with what we may do or be in the future.
If the last five weeks, months or years has been an unproductive, unsatisfying, frustrating blurrrr for you… then maybe it’s your time.
{ 23 comments… read them below or add one }
Hi Craig
I would like to hear your thoughts on people like myself (and you know me well!)that set goals, live with purpose, get very excited about stuff, are super passionate about what they do, work their ass off for years to achieve their dream’s/goal’s but, when they have achieved the goal it isn’t as amazing at they thought it would be.
Do you know others who have experienced this and what do they do?
Kylie, Sydney
xx
There is no perfect time, but there is almost perfect time. Almost perfect time exists in retrospect and it’s realized a few days, a few weeks or a few months after you started working on something. That’s when you realize that things sort of came together thanks to your great timing of making that start… but in fact, things could have worked out too if you started at another point in time too, except it would be somewhat different, things would still come together but do so differently.
So the most important thing is still getting started.
Five years from now… I don’t know. Maybe I’d be in Craig’s Crazy Cult?
Hi Kylie from Sydney.
Err.. yes, I am familiar with your work.
The problem is when the achievement of a particular goal doesn’t deliver us what we thought it would.
Usually we believe an exernal ‘thing’ (business, body change, possession, money, toys, house) will facilitate some kind of internal change/shift.
Invariably it doesn’t and we get disappointed… and then we go chasing the next ‘thing’.
We keep trying to create internal change with external solutions.. doesn’t work.
In Personal Development ’speak’ we talk about goals and outcomes.
The goal (for eg.) is to lose fifty pounds, the potential outcomes may be (for eg.) to be happier, more desirable, more popular, less stressed.
It’s the outcomes we’re really after… the achievement of those goals is simply a mechanism to access what we really want..
Get clear about what you REALLY want and you will waste less time chasing goals that don’t DO IT for you.
Peace xx
Hey Kelvin.
Thanks for your thoughts… I’ll send you an application form for the cult (LOL).
Peace.
Craig, I think I already joined the cult. I have several people that I am going to send a copy of this article to. A mentor is someone who will call you on your “shit” when you need it.
Kylie, when we accomplish our goals and they feel meaningless, it is usually because we don’t value ourselves. Self worth comes from self acceptance and self love. If we have neither of those, nothing has value. Self-esteem is the number one issue behind addictions, in my opinion. It is the biggest issue that I have had to work on and continue to work on daily.
Hi Patricia.
Your caftan is in the mail.
Peace.
( )
Hi Craig
For the last month i have been getting off my butt and going for a walk and have even started Latin dance classes which is very exciting and fun at the same time. I feel great and have come to realise if i want to change i need to do it for me and no one else.
Thanks for the inspiring advice.
() Leanne Melbourne
Hi Leanne.
Well done Champion!
You keep ‘doing’ and I’ll keep inspiring you.
( )
Thank you so very much, Craig, for that very healthy and motivational kick in the ass!! Fortunately, I HAVE “gotten to that point,”
as you so aptly put it, and I am changing my situation NOW — Believe me when I say that it is not a popular decision; people are telling me I will fail, be unhappy for the rest of my life, and wish I had never done this!!
However, I figure I have nowhere to go but UP from here, and I am going for it!! When I realized several months ago that I was complaining about the very same problems and issues I had been complaining about for the last five years, I decided it was something I should look at — Of course, I hemmed and hawed, and sat on the fence for awhile (should I or shouldn’t I?? Yes or
no??) but it’s happening, and the times, they are achanging, as Dylan so aptly wrote!! Just wanted to say thank you very much, your post did more to spur me on in my new quest than anything I have heard from anybody in the last three months!!
P.S. By the way, you were incorrect about there being a lack of hilarity, mirth and entertainment in this post, I thought it was extremely humorous, albeit very inspiring!! Thanks so much for being the call-it-as-I-see-it guy once more!!!
From klondikekitty
Hello Klondikekitty.
You are very welcome… keep me updated.
Cheers.
Hello craig.. my I join your tribe and call you chieftain?
My heart stop pounding when I read the paragraph that says..
“Some of us are going to wake up tomorrow (seemingly) and it will be 2012″
I am THAT guy Craig. I want to do something explosive, but never seems be able to do it.
I got a full time job that I HAVE (dont want to, but have to) to keep. This job robs most of my time and I got little time left to do anything amazing. duh!
Hi Rosdi.
Of course you can join; the more the merrier!!
Chieftan is kinda cool…
Regarding your life… don’t tell me what you CAN’T do, tell me what you CAN do!!
Find a way!
Cheers…
So you’re saying the “change fairy” isn’t real? My life is wonderful except for one thing that I have been spinning my wheels on for the past ten years. I do get in my own way and I only have myself to blame, although I have come up with every excuse in the book. Gee, I wonder if my friends call me the plan girl behind my back, because I do sound like your buddy.
Thanks Craig, you really have me thinking!!! Now if I can just get myself up off of this computer chair. I see so much of myself in your article that I’m actually embarrassed. Could that be the spark that actually gets me to take action? Hmmmm…
Belle 2
Quick Belle… get up!!
Cheers.
Craig,
I really enjoy your writing style, not to mention the subjects. It’s how I talk and think in real life… Keep it up!
You’ve hit that nail on the head Craig. I’m ‘plan’ QUEEN, – boring my parents about my travel plans when I save x cash, (I make them big, 3 years in advance to give me loads of time to save!) I collect many travel brochures and circulate and annoy travel agents. But the saving dosh doesn’t get off the ground!!! – or if it does not for long! If I start talking of plans to family they switch off with Í don’t wanna know’, – meaning they don’t wanna enter that boring same conversation! Therefore my blog gets cluttered with ‘plans’.
Fitness/weight wise, – very yo-yoing. I need to fight a compulsive tendancy which affects all areas of life, – going from debt, working hard to pay off debt, more debt, reasonably fit/goog training habits, 10kg heavier a month later, more debt, ya know but this cycle and NEVER in control for long in all areas and forward!
I know it’s possible to achieve my goals and plans and I could do it, – but will keep quiet on them now!
Hey Wake Up Early (Sleeping Dude)…
Checked out your site.. nice work.
Real.
I Like that.
Peace.
Hello Craig!
I love this one too, Craig, you never let me down. I actually copy and pasted your 10 no-brainers. I think your friend has great ambition but no faith. If he could borrow your confidence in him, then his fear of failure would no longer paralyse him. It is funny how brutal the mind is… it is the strongest weapon we have, where is the manual to show us how not to shoot ourself in the foot with it? It creates excitement and fear, two extreme opposites. Like sunshine and rain! I have learned (am still learning) not to set my goal to the finished product…. instead celebrate milestones. Some of my milestones are overcoming my fear of failure to begin something that may or may not be successful. That is huge for me! I was never a risk taker, but lately, I find myself questioning… why not and I never have a convincing reply. So I jump! Sometimes I land like a cat(on my feet) and other times like a Fish(I flop), but the one thing that is consistent is I land… Craig, I am taking your advice, when the same conversation comes around, I change the subject (hard for us girls ya know!) But honestly, if I was going to get a resolution, I would have got one for the last trillion times, right? So I spare myself the agony. I am also trying to change my reaction to things, if I can’t change the reality, then I can change how I allow it to affect me. Great, I got off subject again… sorry just reel me in! Right now I am in a good place, I like my job, although Craig, whenever you are ready to hire me… I am ready for that adventure too!!!! Now I am just looking for ways to live like I want to scuba, white water raft, deep sea fish, learn to play the sax, rock climb, stand under a waterfall, snow ski, sky dive, did I mention scuba?
Hi Tami.
Before I hire you, you better tell me what I’m hiring you to do!!
Peace.
Good mornin’ Craig,
I have to inquire about the opportunities that are available to compliment my talents. Ha ha, yeah I am crazy, crazy like a fox. Well in the past I offered to be the Cher to your Sonny, but I think you politely and quite cunningly declined by your lack of acceptance. -And you thought I didn’t notice.- Now I am desperately brushing up on my tamborine skills… Although, I was hoping to promote you to the masses. So I am trying to incorporate the two into a rhythmic, interpretive monologue of astounding proportions to awe even the most skeptical into udder admiration and unquantifiable devotion to you, and only you… But hey, if that position has been filled, do you need a activity therapist (exercise instructor) or a flower picker? Maybe a canoe cruise director or a campfire quisine connoissuer? Are you getting the picture, I am flexible! You tell me.
Hello Crazy.
Er, Tami.
How can I refuse that offer?
You’re in.
You can be cult activities co-ordinator.. and morale officer (not to be confused with moral officer).
( )
Book your ticket.
YAY!!!!
I am so there! Uhhhhhhhh, well, I am there when I know where there is! But hey, at least now I have a plan, that’s the first step, right? So glad that you saw “moral” might be a stretch for me! You really have an eye for talent!
See ya,
Tami CAC, MO
how do you like my title acronyms, they make me look official, huh?()
Thank you!!