Gill’s Story.

As you may or may not know, a few weeks ago we (the bald man and I) had an informal get-together with some craigharper-dot-commers for a lazy breakfast and chat right here in the thriving metropolis of Melbourne.
(Low-fat, low-sugar, low-salt, low taste, low enjoyment, low fun…. of course.).

Not.

And while I met a bunch of great people who were all on their own amazing journey of change and personal growth, one person had a big impact on me.

We were all sitting down destroying our breakfasts, when a young good looking bloke appeared in the doorway of the cafe and looked in our direction. He stood there for a moment trying to figure out if the loud, disorderly rabble in the corner (us) was who he was looking for.

I made eye contact, he recognised me from the site and he made his way over and sat down next to me. Now, at the risk of getting myself in trouble here… I gotta say, on first impression (physical only) he wasn’t exactly who I would have (typically) expected to turn up at our breakfast; early thirties, built like superman, good looking… coulda been a male model.
Looked like he shoulda been out surfing.
Or shooting an advertisement for four-wheel drives.

Or starring in a wild-life special for National Geographic.

So anyway, Mr. buffed and annoyingly-good-looking (no issues here) came and sat next to me. I soon discovered that on top of being annoying-good-looking, he was also annoyingly-nice.
Bugger.
Now I had to like him.

In the first two minutes of our conversation, I learned that Darrell had driven from New South Wales border (for our international readers, that’s about a five hour drive) just to be at the breakfast; that’s commitment. He also told me that he just wanted a brief opportunity to chat with me.

He said to me, “I knew that if I could get even five minutes of your time, the (ten-hour return) trip would be worthwhile” (okay, now I wanted to hug him).

Even though he was smiling and friendly, I sensed that there was an underlying sadness.
I discovered that he had (very) recently experienced tragedy, was still grieving and trying to figure it all out. I also learned that he had found some sense of hope, optimism and comfort through our humble little website.

As you probably know, this week we are running a writing forum on craigharper.com so that our readers (you) can become the teacher, writer, messenger for the week and share your experiences and thoughts (see the orange lessons from readers menu option in the right sidebar).

Well Darrell has written a piece for our forum and today I wanted to let him share his story with you:

What’s winning and amazing to you?
I once knew a beautiful girl who had a smile that would light up any room she entered.
She was gorgeous, not only externally but internally as well.
She endeared herself to everyone she met with her wonderful smile, infectious laugh and her loving, caring nature.

She had met the man of her dreams and had created a family (two adorable boys) that she loved and cared for with a passion that all great mothers have. She lived in her perfect world and wanted nothing more than to be with her family and to guide and watch her two boys grow into adulthood. She was the perfect role model who didn’t drink or smoke and enjoyed a very healthy diet as she was an exceptional cook who had a passion for preparing deliciously nutritional meals.

One day this girl was delivered some extraordinarily bad news.

Although she had been well, she felt that her bowel was not functioning properly and when a surgeon went in for a closer look he found a tumor that had perforated her bowel wall and spread to her liver, ovaries and throughout her pelvic floor.
She went from a normal healthy life one day, to dealing with a terminal disease the next.
A disease that threatened to rip apart the perfect family and life she had created and leave her husband and two boys without the wife and mother they adored more than anything. When the surgeon delivered this gut-wrenching news, wiping back tears of anguish after instantly realising her dream of seeing her boys grow up was in serious jeopardy, she proceeded to thank the surgeon for trying.
That was just her.
Not one word of anger or frustration was muttered from her mouth.

Not one to sit back and feel sorry for herself and accept the fate bestowed on her by the medical fraternity, she immediately embarked on a journey of healing, trying to find a solution to the cause of this dreaded disease rather than just treating the symptoms in a regime of chemotherapy as was suggested by the doctors. Her strength, will power and character were tested on many occasions but she stood firm in rejecting any palliative treatment as she knew to survive long term, it would only inhibit her path to true healing.

She enjoyed good health for many months and her journey was going well until she started noticing some discomfort in the rectal area. Some subsequent tests confirmed that there was tumor activity and again the course of treatment suggested was chemotherapy and radiation treatment. She was such a strong-willed person and knowing that this treatment was only palliative, she chose to keep up her search for healing in more holistic therapies.

After a couple of months her condition had deteriorated when she came across a Biological Medicine clinic in Switzerland that offered some form of hope. She was faced with a decision to stay at home and wait to die or to make the trip to Switzerland with the possibility of never returning to see her children again. Although the clinic gave her hope, there were never any promises and she was well aware that things may not turn out as she would like.

Unable to accept that she would not be around to see her children grow up, she stared down her fears and boarded the plane for Switzerland. She showed strength and will power beyond belief and she inspired many with her amazing courage and will to live.
She knew the trip to Switzerland was a risk and everything that possibly could have gone wrong actually did.

Her journey ended in Switzerland with her loving husband by her side.

My message is that winning and creating amazing doesn’t have to be a complex thing.
It doesn’t have to be what is amazing through other peoples eyes, only your own.
It can be very simple things in life that can be your amazing and make you a winner.
I once knew a girl who thought walking her two boys to school was amazing.

She was my wife; she was a winner and she was amazing.

Darrell Spencer.

Darrell’s beautiful wife (Gill) passed away about eight weeks ago and he and his two boys need all the love and support we can give them. He is an amazing person with an incredible attitude and strength…. but the truth is, he has no choice; he has to cope.
And he will.

Even through this tragedy he will learn and grow and take these painful lessons to help others and to raise his boys to be the men he and his wife dreamed they would be.

Darrell, you are an incredible, brave and inspirational person, it is a pleasure to have met you and from all of us at craigharper.com we send you all our love, support and prayers and we commit to helping you in any way we can.

Next time I feel like complaining about my ‘tough life’, I’ll remember you and your boys.

Love you Buddy ( )

Darrell needs lots of love and support… even from strangers.
Why don’t you send him some?

Click on the comments link… and give him a cyberhug at the very least.