If you venture on to my home page and read my ‘welcome’, you’ll note that I point out that some of the subject matter on this site is educational, some inspirational and some fits into neither category.
That would be this post.
Poor little post… has no category.
No home.
More than likely, I will teach you nothing today.
In fact, I’d be astounded if I did.
I’m actually hoping we might have a group discussion and that you can teach me something about the subject matter we’re about to explore. If you’ve got your serious ‘Personal Development’ hat on and today’s the day you’re looking for some significant intellectual and emotional stimulation and growth… you’re not gonna find it here; but you know what?… it’s okay to stop taking ourselves so seriously for a day… and have a chuckle.
I said… and it’s my site.
At work this afternoon I asked the questions I’m about to ask you to a few random people and I had a wide and varied range of responses. These questions were borne out of some strange experiences that I’ve had over the last few weeks and those experiences have generated some… ‘interesting’ responses from me.
But as one of my friends tells me “maybe you’re the weird one Craig.”
Weird Craig.
I like that.
Did you know that a lot of weirdos have been incredibly successful people…apparently some weird, famous painter bloke hacked off his own ear….
And recently some weird, squillionaire, pop-star hacked off her own….. hair.
Mmmm, there’s a post and a half right there.
But I won’t be writing it.
Okay, here are my questions:
Q1. Should we let people (other than our partner) kiss us on the lips?
I don’t mean in a passionate, let’s-run-to-the-bedroom kind of way (we know that’s not cool) … I just mean AT ALL?
‘Cause lately I’ve had a bunch of people who seem to be predisposed to significant lip action at the drop of a hat…. and I’m not diggin’ it!
What’s with that???
People who I hardly know, kissing me hello or goodbye… on the gob! (Australian for mouth).
Uncalled for and occasionally, creepy.
Invariably they have skinny, cold, fish lips…. and bad breath.
Why do they think I want that?
Not cool.
Q2. If the answer to Q1. is yes, then what are the guidelines?
Who can partake of the lip-kiss…family, friends?… and for how long?… half a second, five seconds?
And when does is become creepy and uncomfortable?
Is there a book on this?
Maybe I’ve got issues… but I’m not sure about people who kiss everyone on the lips.
Q3. Men greeting each other with a kiss?
Now I know it varies from culture to culture, but what about in say…. Australia, Canada, the States, England?
I know that I can (shock, horror) periodically err on the side of Alpha-Male-ness… but I typically pride myself on my emotional maturity and development(!).
But I gotta say, I’m not (personally) a big fan of the male kiss…. the whole whisker on whisker thing doesn’t do it for me.
I know it’s common place in Europe… but does that mean little old Aussie Craig has to embrace it?
Perhaps I should.
Or not.
Q4. Men Hugging?
Personally, I’m a big fan of the man hug.
I mean the real deal, I-love-you-and-you’re-ace bear hug (not your gentle, affectionate, caressing kind of thing).
Unfortunately, not too many of my buddies share my tactile enthusiasm.
Johnnie will hate me writing this (but I don’t care ’cause by the time he reads this it will be published on the site)… but he HATES being hugged.
He’s got issues for sure.
Big ones.
(And I ……obviously have none).
When I try and hug him, he threatens me with violence…. which makes me want to hug him more.
Sometimes I chase him around the gym (for real).
I think deep down he’s playing hard to get.
Or not.
Q5. Corporate kissing?
Okay… I have lots of business meetings with lots of people.
Often with women.
When I meet with a female business acquaintance (who I know, but maybe haven’t seen for a while) should I kiss her on the cheek or shake her hand?
Girls confuse me; some kiss, some shake.
Some do nothing; they nod (what’s with nodding?).
Some hug and kiss.
I’m so confused.
As I said, I asked these questions earlier today and I learned nothing.
Everyone told me something different.
Clearly, I have much to learn.
Maybe you can me help out.
I would love your input and thoughts… and by the way, feel free to comment on other people’s comments and thoughts as well as my post…. and tell Johnnie to let me hug him.
And tell the creepy woman with the thin lips to leave me alone.
* Let us know where you’re from.
{ 36 comments… read them below or add one }
Craig, I say hug everybody. Your wife, your mum, your dad, your boss, your kids, your work buddies, your attorney, your financial planner. Hell there’s not enough love in the world anyway. Who else agrees!
DENVER
COLARADO
I’m not diggin’ it either. It is creepy, and it seems a bit presumptuous for the kisser to assume you want to be kissed like that, by them.
Maybe, it is a cultural thing – I’m in England and traditionally we don’t go in for spontaneous acts of physical contact – maybe in some parts of the world it is the norm. I just wish it hadn’t become so popular here.
Hugging is fine though. More people should hug.
I used to ‘corporate kiss’ but I’m a girl and its kind of different for us. Mind you, male or female, I wouldn’t just kiss anyone. It depends on the industry too. I was in events, so there was a lot of kissy-kissy schmoozing sometimes.
Ahhh…what a great topic to stir the emotions. I chuckled when reading this blog as I was imaging my reactions in the same situations. So here’s my take on the topic….
Q1. It’s ok for other women to kiss you on the lips.
Q2. if… you know them well (family & friends), but only a peck! No more than a second! Total strangers are taboo!! (Mmmmm…. but there again they’d be the only kisses I’d get!!)
Q3. I am very uncomfortable when this happens. Though it only happens on a rare occasion and from a close friend who is fighting the big “C”. So I graciously accept it! And if my adult sons wanted to (not that they would, being the big tough Alpha males they are!!), that would be cool! Anyone else…call the meat wagon!!
Q4. Men hugging is now being more accepted day by day, however receiving a man hug from a stranger would need to be questioned!!
Q5. Depends on the individual and your relationship with them. I think it would be prudent for the woman to take the lead, in case you make a complete ass of yourself. Oh yeah…girls confuse the hell out of me too!!
Baldman, stop being a sook and let the Harpmeister hug you!! What an honour that would be!!
Cheers
The other weird Craig!!
Ok.. I am not a huge fan of the kisses… but MOST of my friends are..
Always on the cheek… only family (my husbands..)family kiss (well.. peck really) on the lips…
Men… shake hands… they should NEVER kiss (well a good red blooded aussie bloke… that is)
the whole corporate…. No kisses..or hugs for that matter… different if you meet socially afterwards.. (like at a bar or alike).. but no!
can’t comment on the man hug.. as I am not one! But my husband would shrink away…
Maybe that ‘thin-lipped’ creepy babe has something for you
Kirsty – Warracknabeal, Vic
well, i think girlfriends can kiss each other on the mouth if they want. mostly the cheek tho and a hug as well. as for guys, eww! a manly hug is v. cool tho. corporate ppl in a corporate environment? hand shake definitely!
girls kissing guys? depends on their relationship (and the guy! some do hate it you know!)
julie, hobart, tas
I’m with you Johnnie. Do not let him near you! Hands are for shaking, lips are for kissing, and hugs are for bears!
Vancouver-Canada
Ok…kissing a stranger on the lips IS weird! Its not the ‘done’ thing. I say leave that for your partner.. kisses on the cheek for the rest is fine!!
Keep up the great (and funny) blog Craig!
Kate
Okay Glen…
but I draw the line at hugging my financial planner… you haven ‘t seen him!
Cheers… and here’s a cyber-hug for you my big tactile friend ( )
Kate…
if we ever meet you’ll get a hug and nothing more!
Here’s one now… ( )
Hi Miscellaneous-Mum,
kissy-kissy schmoozing?
Really?
( )
Craig,
comprehensive answer Dude.
9/10
Here have a hug ya big Skater Boy ( )
Hi Kirsty…
I hope you’re wrong about Mrs Thin-Lips… you’re freakin’ me out
( )
Hi Julie,
go the manly hug!
(I used to live in Tassie a hundred years a go)
( )
Ethan, Ethan, Ethan,
Dude, you’re sabotaging my progress with the bald man… he saw your comment and ran around the place with his defiant fist in the air..
Just for that I’m gonna hug you… for just a bit too long! ( )
Hi Kate.
You’re on the money; it’s weird weird, weird.
( )
I say ‘no touching’ – period.
Hand shakes: you will eventually get sweaty, clammy-hand-shake-guy, who’s sweat you will feel on your hand for the rest of the day, no matter how often you wash.
Hugging: there’ll always be someone who holds on too long, or too close (and it’s never the person you’d secretly enjoy doing so!).
As for the mouth kiss from anyone other than your partner: wrong! My advise Craigo, given your current predicament – draw/stick on a little fake cold sore and dare fish lips to move in for the pash.
T
Melbourne
Bald man 1
Craig 0
Sorry dude!
Craig 1
Baldman 0
I like the hugs Craig.
I will hug anything. Men, women, animals, trees, cars, buildings, anything really.
The reason I keep coming back here is I never know what to expect.
Thanks for your inspiration.
Vashish, Moka, Mauritius
T,
fake cold sore it is….
( )
C’mon Eddie… ya killin’ me.
No love is no good.
No hug for you!
Hey Vashish,
1. I wanna hug from you and
2. I wanna see you hug a building..
send me a picture.
( )
Hey what’s with the thin-lipped people bashing? It’s not my fault i was born with them.
Ang
Sydney
Hi Ang,
please don’t hate me…
the thin lips weren’t really the problem… it was more the unwanted kissing and the breath.
Sorry Ang ( )
Signed… nasty Craig
Okay, I think kissing on the lips is strictly for partners, and your little children – and even that will get weird at a certain age (the kids, not the partner). That’s it.
Kissing on the cheeks is fine for most family, friends etc, but no corporate kisses – also weird. You can’t go and kiss a potential client for example.
Male kissing also freaks me out a bit. My husband is very uncomfortable when his own brother gives him a kiss goodbye.
Now for hugs. If the emotion is there, hug away I say. But it has to be situation relevant – like you can’t go and give someone a 30 second snuggle just cos you feel like it. I think a blokey hug between men can say enough without getting too weird, like sorta a one handed hug-pat-on-the-back sort of thing.
The bottom line is we are all different, and as long as the hugger/kisser doesn’t make the hugee/kissee uncomfortable, than go for it. Trust me, you can sense the discomfort.
Jenni
Melbourne
Hi Jenni,
you’re making way too much sense… I especially like your last paragraph.
Hugee?
Kissee?
Nice.
( )
There I was surfing the net and I come across this lovefest. I don’t know who the bald man is but he is on the money.
NO HUGGING MEN!!
Los Angeles, California
Hi b.a.,
You’re lucky you live a zillion miles away or I’d come over there a hug you…
* The bald man is Johnnie; my very dysfunctional web designer, engineer, tech man, manager…. and lunch partner.
Craig, is it just me or have your latest posts gone from Chasing our Tails to So You’ve Decided to Get in Shape to Personal Development Fraud to Corporate Kissing. What Next…
Saint Paul
Minnesota
Hi Damon,
I don’t wanna get too predictable… then you’ll say I’m boring!
cheers.
Hey Craig,
I tried to solve the whole handshake with woman ordeal in a blog i wrote not to long ago. Hope it helps, but most likely will just leave more unanswered questions
What is the handshake etiqutte when meeting a woman for the first time?
I came across this today at lunch when i was introduced to a lady at work for the first time, but didn’t know wether to shake her hand or not?. Its automatic for me and i think for most guys to shake another males hand when being introduced, it pretty much comes out of holster. But what are the rules with chicks?.
I usually wait for the them to initiate the handshake gesture, and am happy to shake there hand. But then today i felt like maybe i should of shook her hand, as she gave me a look like she was waiting for it. So then i had to go through that 2-3 seconds of awkwardness where my brain was trying 2 figure out what the hell to do and my right hand was waiting. So in the end i think my hand took over and did this kind of half assed wave hello, id say somewhere between a normal wave and a Mr Hanky the Christmas Poo “howwwwdy howwwww” wave.
And i think i do this somewhat retarded wave on most occasions, and if the woman sticks her hand out in the mean time, i play it cool and go straight into the shake from the wave. Its all about timing and i think i have it down to a fine art, im not sure if it can be taught, its all about feeling the situation.
But anyway what are the rules? So many variables like if its someone at work, your girlfriend’s mum or sister, a girl you meet out??? Do the same rules apply for each?. I will always shake the hand of the girlfriend’s dad, but i dont know about mumsie, she’s getting my wave.
I think for now I’m going to stick with my wave that can transform into a handshake when called upon. But I’m starting to lean towards maybe always shaking the hand of a female at work, seems like the professional thing to do, its a big call to make. I don’t wan’t to be known as the weirdo thats shakes everyones hand.
I think a no brainer in the whole handshake etiquette is the grip involved, if you are being put on the spot. Its gotta be pretty panzy like really, like its more of coming together of hands then a shake. Unless she has a vice like grip or man hands then you simply adjust your tension to suit the situation.
Feedback on this conundrum would be greatly appreciated as im pretty much useless in reading the opposite sex.
Hey Michael,
it’s rare that I laugh at someone’s comment but you made me laugh out loud..
I have no answers for you… if I knew, I wouldn’t have asked the questions… maybe someone smarter than both of us will write in and enlighten us!
Cheers.
I don’t know if this fits here but I have an issue with the lip kissing of adults to children, at what point in their age are they going to start feeling uncomfortable??
Take my best mate for example, his household has a lip kiss policy with his two daughters and his son, now if I was comfortable doing it and did it, at some point I’m sure as they grew up they would start feeling uncomfortable when Uncle Damo comes in for a kiss, it’s a whole situation that doesn’t need to be… keep the mouth kissing for the adults in a relationship.
Back on the subject…. go the hugs I say, and shake everyones hand
Damo
The whole Uncle Damo thing could get a little creepy at some stage couldn’t it?
Mmm…can’t go wrong with a good hug…Unless of course you hug some who doesn’t want to be hugged!
Cheers Damo.
well i used to give my dad a kiss on the lips..it would NEVR mean anything else OBVIOUSLY bt now im older we obviously dont because i didnt feel confertablke anymoree
guys and guys ???GROSS!! unless they dig guys not girls if u get what i mean!!then its fine..
From Australia:
1. Why on earth are they going for the lips. I know some of my gay friends kiss other girls on the lips but seriously that isn’t the norm. I much prefer to save my lips for my partner.
2. I find it creepy. As an Aussie I wasn’t bought up to kiss everyone, actully no one except my partner. Next time it happens I would suggest a comment like ‘whoops, sorry about that’, then they will know your not comfortable with it.
3. Hmm not Aussie blokes. A lot of my European friends do this but it is normal for them.
4. Man hug is good!
5. In the office always hand shake, out of the office at a dinner or event, kiss on the cheek is all good.