Too Old, too Fat, too Dumb.

Have you ever noticed how some people have an amazing ability to find reasons for not actually doing anything; taking risks, getting uncomfortable, making tough decisions, being pro-active, being responsible for the state of their life, relationships, body, finances.

Not you or I of course… but perhaps someone you know.

I’m too old.
I’m too fat.
I’m not the academic one.
I’m not the athletic one.
I’m not smart enough.
I have a terrible memory.
I don’t know anything about business.
I’m not the writer, he’s the writer.
My sister’s the one with the great genetics.
And so on…

We… err sorry, they, pigeon-hole themselves into personal-growth paralysis.

“I would love to have my own blog site… but I can’t write…. and anyway, who would want to read what I have to say; I’m boring…I don’t have a qualification in anything….. and I tried something similar once before…. but my brother; he’s a genius… you should listen to him!”

They spend their life justifying and rationalising their psychological, emotional, physical, spiritual, financial and professional stagnation.

Sometimes they even get angry at the world.
Or God.

‘Cause that’s gonna help.

Sometimes they really work at it and get bitter, grumpy and resentful because apparently, life dealt them some crap cards. Years blend into one another and while they are unhappy with much of their life, they don’t actually do anything to change it.

Year after year, their life wreaks of sameness.
Because they constantly focus on what they can’t do (or think they can’t do).

They are forever having the same conversations about the same issues…. but don’t do anything. They tell themselves (and anyone stupid enough to listen) how disadvantaged they are, so then they don’t actually have to get off their arse and change their situation or circumstance because obviously…. it’s all beyond their control.

Sure it is Pinocchio.
Boo Hoo.

One of my favourites is when people decide that they’re too old for pretty much everything.

Their body is not the problem; their thinking is.
Age is more about attitude, beliefs and choices than it is about physiology, or years on the planet. I’ve met so many people who have successfully turned themselves into ‘old people’ in a matter of months.
It’s quite the skill.
They think old, talk old, act old, live old… and then become old.

So many obese people have remained obese because apparently it’s genetic!
“Mum’s big, my sisters are all big and my dad’s huge.”

“Err, perhaps you all eat too much!”

“I bet if I took your family for a six month holiday at camp Craig and I controlled your food, your activity level and your exercise regime… there would be no fat family.”
But, you keep telling yourself it’s all about your DNA, then you won’t have to take responsibility for your crappy eating, your unhealthy lifestyle happy, the gallon of coke per day or your 300lb body.

I apologise if I sound harsh but if you listened to the verbal crap that I listen to on a daily basis… you’d be blunt as well.

So, let’s:

Stop finding reasons to fail!
Stop finding reasons to do nothing.
Focus on what we can change…
Can do.
Can control.

Can you change your attitude? Yes.
Can you eat less? Yes. (I didn’t ask, is it easy?)
Can you make different choices today? Yes.
Can you surprise yourself and others today? If you choose to.
Can you work around your hurdles, obstacles and challenges? Yes.
Can you communicate differently from now? Yes.
Can you work on your weaknesses while maximising your strengths? Yes.
Can you learn new things at any age? Yes.
Can you create genuine, forever, inside-out change starting today? If you choose to.
Can you change destructive habits today? Yep…will it be easy.. probably not – do you want it enough? You tell me.
Can you make a decision now, right now in that chair which will change your life forever. Yep.

If you choose to.

Life’s about choices.
Choices shape lives.
People make choices.
Or not.

Do you want an amazing life?
Do you want to be an amazing person?
Do you want to have amazing experiences.
Then do an amazing thing.
Get uncomfortable.
Now.
Even though it’s not practical, convenient or comfortable… make that decision.
Don’t just talk about it, read about it and think about it.
Do it.

Some of you are feeling uncomfortable now.
You know why?
Because you know what you need to change… and you know it won’t be easy at times.
Do it anyway.
Surprise yourself.
Be different.
Be courageous.
I dare you.

You know that every successful endeavour starts with an idea and a decision.
You know that (for many of us) the right time never comes…

So why don’t you, right here and now, address that thing… and make that decision.
And if you feel compelled, share it with us; it might help you create some momentum… (hey, at least you’ll have a few thousand of us to keep you honest…. and we’re on your team).

Go Team!!!

PS. You probably don’t need to know this but in Melbourne right now it’s reaaaally hot, so I just blogged in my undies (err…if you know what I mean).
It’s kinda liberating.
Give it a go.

Don’t forget to tell us where you’re from….when you comment.

{ 14 comments… read them below or add one }

Rosemary January 19, 2007 at 2:31 am

I’m beginning to depend on you for my daily wake-up call! It takes a lot to blast me out of my comfort zone, which lives in Kansas. Thanks for the great post!

Craig Harper January 19, 2007 at 7:00 am

Hi Rosemary…
You’re welcome.
Do something spectacular today!

Anonymous January 19, 2007 at 7:28 am

Craig
I used to be one of these people. I was always too fat, too dumb, too hopeless, too unlucky to do anything i wanted. Why is the world against me & blah blah blah. A year ago i decided enough of this already. This is no way to live & anytime u waste u never get back. How did i get out if it? I started doing the things i always wanted to. It got to the point where my desires to do these things became so strong that they over rode any feelings of embarrassment & self doubt. First thing i did was take a self defence class. I hated it but at the same time loved it. You learn to get through any bad feelings by going thru the motions of just doing it & u learn to get over the negative stuff & the depression in u’re head. Now i’m going to the gym, doing tai-chi & kung-fu & guess what? I’m still fat, well a lot less fat then i used to be but i’ll get there eventually. I realised that it doesn’t matter what shape i’m in i can still do things. The important thing is to get involved in living & things eventually full into place. I regret not having done all this early but at least i know now.

Ange-Sydney OZ

geekgirlau January 19, 2007 at 7:44 am

I think it was John Tickell who made the observation that a large proportion of fat families also have fat pets … kind of blows the whole “it’s genetic” argument out of the water!

By the way Craig, “I just blogged in my undies” was not the mental image with which I wanted to start my day :)

Melbourne, Australia

Craig Harper January 19, 2007 at 8:10 am

Hi Ange.
You’re doing what MANY people don’t; having a go!

Well done you little Ninja.

Craig Harper January 19, 2007 at 8:14 am

Hello GG.

I am sorry to traumatise you.
That was unfair.

I won’t mention my undies ever again!

(‘Blogged’ is very close to ‘bogged’ isn’t it?)

Liara Covert January 19, 2007 at 8:46 am

The idea of leaving a comfort zone isn’t an issue for me. Yet, I’ve had a hard time with feelings of helplessness when people around me repeatedly complain or do nothing. Experience has taught me my best option is to provide alternative examples of behaviour. I’ve learned I can only change myself.

Craig Harper January 19, 2007 at 9:50 am

Hi Liara,
the only person we can really change is us… we can encourage, support, love and hold their hand… but they still have to make the decision and take the action.

They have to be ready.

Nice chatting.

Kacia January 19, 2007 at 8:32 pm

Found you on Blogcritics.
Just wanted to add that I like your no nonense style of writing.
Kacia (Thessaloniki, Greece)

Rolisa January 19, 2007 at 8:47 pm

Thanks to your post I’m going to change 1 thing every month that I’m not happy with for the next 12 months. Starting today.

K.L. Malaysia

Craig Harper January 20, 2007 at 8:29 am

Good for you Rolisa…

Craig Harper January 20, 2007 at 8:31 am

Hi Kacia,

I’m not renowned for my diplomacy!
Thanks for saying hi.

Julie January 31, 2007 at 3:22 pm

thanks for the butt kicking craig

julie – hobart

Ned July 8, 2009 at 1:51 pm

Well sometimes I do think people need to appreciate the little that they have no matter how little that is. Unfortunately its just too tempting to settle for thinking that people have it better than you and sometimes that may be the case! I think it’s silly to deny what is the obvious, that is, obviously we are not all dealt the same hand and to pretend we are doesn’t help the person who is struggling. I recommend acknowledging the difficulties in your life then trying to adapt to them, rather than deny them and work around them.

I hear you saying to yourself that I am one of those whingers written about in this blog. Well tell me what you’d do in life if you:

- couldn’t go in any sort of vehicle (plane, car or bus),
- the ground felt like it constantly shifted,
- your head felt like it was in a vice being crushed – 24/7,
- everything around you feels dream like,
- your friends, family and home all feel like unfamiliar surroundings, a case of jamis vu – which means to have never seen before,
- your arms and legs feel constantly disconnected from your main body
- you then FIND OUT after 11 years of suffering all this by the age of 22, you are diagnosed with a progressive dementia. You’ve lived an untreatable hell for 11 years and now to add salt to injury you have a dementing brain disorder.

You don’t get used to that. You try to adapt but its tough. However, you do the best you can.

Thanks for listening.

Australia.

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