“CHOOSE BETTER. DO BETTER. BE BETTER.” Craig Harper


Welcome to the cyber-home of Motivational Speaker, Craig Harper.This site is a constantly updated inspiration, education and motivation station. Unlike other sites, it is a totally free resource. With over a thousand original articles covering a wide range of subject matter (from fitness to philosophy), there’s a mountain of quality information to help you create your best life. Apart from being one of Australia’s leading professional speakers, Craig is also an Exercise Scientist, Media Presenter, Published Author, High Performance Coach and highly sought-after Corporate Coach. He is considered to be a leader in the area of personal development, having worked with hundreds of teams, companies and organisations on numerous continents over the last twenty years.

How to Operate a Bloke – Part 27: Communication

“He’s a Terrible Communicator”

… or is he?

Over the last thirty years, I’ve heard a version of the above statement many times. Keeping in mind that more than seventy percent of my clients over the years have been women, this comes as no big surprise.

Well ladies, if you’ll allow me to, today I’d like to share another perspective.

It’s my contention (Your Honour), that in many cases, men are not actually “terrible communicators” but rather, different communicators. Different to you. That is, we’re blokes. The truth is we’re always communicating some kind of message but perhaps you’re not picking up what we’re putting down? A common issue in relationships (both personal and professional) is the assumption that lack of words equates to lack of communication. Well, more often than not, someone is listening when they should really be looking. The often-shared statistic is that communication is 93% non-verbal, so sometimes it’s prudent to look where the words aren’t. If the vast majority of communication is non-verbal, then perhaps being preoccupied with the 7% (or thereabouts) is not a great strategy.

Just a thought.

Like it or not, want it or not, a large percentage of men simply don’t communicate their thoughts and feelings the way their female counterparts do (no shit) and consequently they tend to get labelled emotionally inept. Or worse. And yes, based on the way (some) ladies think, process information, express feelings and connect, we may well be emotional imbeciles but then you’re not us and we’re not you.

In fact, most ‘normal’ blokes are communicating all the time; our actions, reactions, choices and typical behaviours are all messages. Clear messages. They are all saying something about something. Possibly, something profound. It’s all communication and while it may not necessarily be verbal, it will often tell you much more than our words ever could.

Just because your bloke is not gifted at (or excited by) the one-on-one, deep-and-meaningful verbal encounter, don’t assume that he’s not giving any insight into his thoughts or feelings. In fact, when you know what to look for and you’re prepared to pay attention, he’s often an open book; even when he doesn’t want to be. The truth is we all (men and women) communicate all the time; it’s impossible not to. The key is to understand the difference between talking and communicating. Sometimes they’re the same thing, but often not.

And by the way, I can articulate myself the way I do because I’m thirty percent female. ;)

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Intuitive Intelligence

I don’t know how I know, but I do…

Intuitive intelligence is a broad, and sometimes vague, term which intersects with familiar concepts like intuition, instinct, perception, discernment and the notion of a having a ‘sixth sense’. In layman’s terms, intuitive intelligence is having a level of knowledge, insight and/or understanding that can’t be explained logically. We don’t know why we know and understand certain things, but we do. I’m sure you’ve experienced this? Is it not something that has been taught to us, although it is something that can be developed (and benefited from) when we tune in and pay attention.

Intuitive intelligence is evident in areas as diverse as music, art and healing, right through to coaching (all kinds), business development and predicting patterns, behaviours and outcomes in a range of scenarios. Most importantly, it can also impact on some not-so-minor things like happiness, living in alignment and creating healthy relationships; be they personal or professional.

It is a gift that can make our lives immeasurably better when we turn down the white noise, be still and find a way to ‘adjust’ our intuitive radar. It’s kind-of-like trying to find a station on an old radio; sometimes we really need to listen carefully. And by the way, it’s always playing.

Unlike conventional intelligence (for want of a better term), intuitive intelligence is not a byproduct of the mind as we understand it. In fact, it is a ‘thought-less’ kind of intelligence, in that, it doesn’t involve thought. And while we don’t totally understand it (and maybe we’re not meant to), the thing that we call ‘instinctive intelligence’, is its own form of genius and guidance that lives where our mind doesn’t. Without doubt, in every one of us there is a wealth of intelligence that exists and operates beyond the cerebral plane.

And perhaps our greatest challenge is to protect that genius from our unbelieving mind.

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