“CHOOSE BETTER. DO BETTER. BE BETTER.” Craig Harper


Welcome to the cyber-home of Motivational Speaker, Craig Harper.This site is a constantly updated inspiration, education and motivation station. Unlike other sites, it is a totally free resource. With over a thousand original articles covering a wide range of subject matter (from fitness to philosophy), there’s a mountain of quality information to help you create your best life. Apart from being one of Australia’s leading professional speakers, Craig is also an Exercise Scientist, Media Presenter, Published Author, High Performance Coach and highly sought-after Corporate Coach. He is considered to be a leader in the area of personal development, having worked with hundreds of teams, companies and organisations on numerous continents over the last twenty years.

4 Tips You Didn’t Expect from Me

1. Don’t trust people (too soon).
2. Expect people to lie.
3. Don’t expect people to celebrate your success.
4. Expect resentment.

Now, before anyone starts jumping up and down, shaking their fist and expressing their disdain at my lack of faith in humanity… take a breath and put your soap box away. Put the emotional reaction on hold for a moment and consider a few things. Do you think I would share something so (seemingly) negative without good cause? And by the way, it’s not really negative but rather reasonable, rationale and realistic advice (albeit uncomfortable to hear or read), based on my every-day, real-world experience. Over a long time.

The truth is that many people confuse pragmatic, not-always-comfortable, reality-based advice with negativity. They are quite different. Negativity is expecting a poor outcome for no logical reason or irrationally expecting the worst every time. Whereas, anticipating the possibility (notice I didn’t say certainty) of less-than-desirable behaviour from someone (or ones) in your orbit can be not only money-saving, career-saving, relationship-saving, and sanity-saving, in some extreme situations, it can be life-saving.

That matters.

If you’ve met me (or read me for a while), then you know that I’m a positive, solution-focused bloke who works diligently to find and develop the best in people but in the middle of my optimism, I’ve experienced the negative version of ALL of the above four behaviours on a regular basis for my entire working life. Often, all on the same day! Is this revelation a display of negativity or toxic thinking on my part? No, it’s a commentary on a thirty-year career, thousands of encounters and an honest insight into one facet of human behaviour.

I’ve had people that I cared for (deeply) lie to me, trash talk me, steal money from me (literally), undermine me, resent my success and sabotage my endeavours, so in my world, expecting the best from people (all the people, all the time) would be irrational and potentially, dangerous. (*I’ve also had total strangers be incredibly generous, kind, loving and supportive.)

So, am I saying don’t trust people? Absolutely not. Am I saying everyone’s a lying, selfish, resentful dick? Nope. What I am saying is that life is not a Disney movie and while most people have the capacity for all things generous, kind and incredible, you might want to pay attention (to people) for a while – quite a while – and then base your expectations (of them) on your experience, insight and observation.

This might be an uncomfortable lesson for some of you but I can assure you that learning it this way is more pleasant than the alternative. :)

{12 comments}

Disagreement

It’s okay to disagree with or have a contrary opinion to someone (healthy even), but it’s not okay to launch a personal attack on a person simply because they don’t share our thinking, beliefs or perspective. Sadly, this seems to be happening more and more in social media and in society at large. It’s kind of unpleasant and unnecessary. Apart from the fact that it makes the attacker look like an irrational, self-righteous dick (and therefore, less likely to be listened to or respected), he/she will destroy any chance of being able to educate, enlighten or influence the other person (because they’ve just created disconnection and disdain), even if they’re 100% right (which is unlikely). And no, I’m not talking about disagreeing with or reacting to something extreme (like criminal behaviour, for example), but rather, the way we respond to, and interact with, people in our day to day lives. The way we create friction, tension and dis-ease out of nothing.

Every day I hear and read things that I don’t agree with. As do you, I’m sure. It’s part of life. Part of being a conscious, considered being. Our challenge, then, is to know how to invest our time and energy (in relationship to the things we disagree with) while being mindful, self-aware and realistic about what type of impact, effect or outcome a specific response might have.

Sometimes the best response is no response. :)

{0 comments}

Recent Entries

The Future of Personal Training

September 13, 2014

Tweet Hi ! Sorry to take you the long way but please click HERE!!!!!!!!!  (Don’t ask me why but Facebook wouldn’t let me link directly, so we had to go to Sydney via Perth – so to speak).

Read the full article →

The Future of Personal Training

August 29, 2014

Tweet Hi Guys. This post won’t be of interest or relevance to many of you, so I apologise in advance but if you work in the fitness industry (or intend to) and you’re based in Victoria (or beyond if you’re really keen), I want to share some exciting news with you about an event taking [...]

Read the full article →

Making Shit Hard

August 24, 2014

Tweet Here’s the scene… I’m at the gym doing what I do and a few metres away from me a lady is trying unsuccessfully to put a handle on a Lat Pull machine. She struggles for about sixty seconds and stupidly (and apparently, sexistly), I offer to help. I know I can attach it in [...]

Read the full article →

The “it didn’t work” Delusion

July 9, 2014

Tweet I just bumped into a lady at the supermarket who told me how frustrated she is with her “fat body”. Without wanting to, I somehow found myself in the middle of a consult standing in the nut section, basket in hand. And no, the fact that it was the nut section is not lost [...]

Read the full article →